Monday, February 4, 2008

Fourth quarter

EDIT: If you're the sort of person who likes to read in chronological order, before reading this post first go through these:
- First quarter
- Second quarter
- Halftime
- Third quarter
- OK, now read the post below

15:00 - Sweet Jesus Joseph and Mary. I am so tired. I hate the NFL. Why am I forcing myself to watch this game?

14:52 - They're showing "celebrities" now, including Frank Caliendo. Is there anyone in Britain who knows who that guy is?

13:53 - Hey Bradshaw, run it into the pile.

13:12 - Hey Bradshaw, run it into the pile.

11:50 - Hey Bradshaw, run it into the pile.

11:05 - Touchdown. 10-7 Giants. I will never understand what the hell "play action" means. I love seeing Tom Brady look miserable. Tom Brady is great for me to poop on.

10:59 - Eli Manning looks like a 17-year-old boy. A really stupid 17-year-old boy. If I saw him at Starbucks, I would walk down the street to another Starbucks because he would be the sort of person to hand you a cold hot chocolate.

9:36 - I am so tired. I have been watching this game for three days.

9:20 - The San Diego Chargers and the New Orleans Saints are the teams playing in London in October. How shit is that?

8:21 - Why do the refs have tight athletic shirts? Is that really necessary?

4:12 - I'm disturbed by Sterling Sharpe: "Randy Moss is a very cute route runner."

2:42 - Now 14-10 Patriots. I hate Randy Moss. I hate him. I also hate that for the last 20 minutes there have been less than 3 minutes on the clock. What day is it? Where am I?

1:26 - I think it's May now. Please send help.

1:04 - Holy shit. That was the best play ever. Manning shook off a certain sack then threw into hardcore coverage to get down the field some 20 yards. Almost certainly he will fumble the next snap.

0:51 - Or get sacked.

0:35 - Holy shit. A proper comeback. Now 17-14 Giants. It's like a football game that's actually worth watching. A Super Bowl that lives up to its hype.

0:29 - I am going to be pissed if this game goes to overtime. For the love of Pete, let me sleep.

0:19 - I love seeing Tom Brady get sacked!

0:01 - That's game Hendrix. There's still a second left on the clock and I'm surprised NFL rule mongers haven't forced everyone off the field for the sake of kicking the ball. I don't care. I'm going to bed. It is 3:07 a.m.


Unknown said...

HOLY CRAP!!!! Best super bowl ever! Well actually I preferred the super bowl in which Elway beat the packers, which I do believe that we watched together in our apartment in Fargo Chris, but I do just really love watching the packers lose. Tonight's game was not only very entertaining game to the end, but also the Patriots, whom I understand are well loved by the English because of their England/New England connection, got beat. Screw all dynasty teams, the ones with all the free agent talent that sign to get a ring at a price no up and coming team could get them for, thereby giving an uncompetitive advantage and leading to the same thing happening year after year. God damn I hate dynasty teams. It was awesome. This despite the fact that I still HATE the New York football Giants. 41-0. That sucked. Sigh.
Either way I'm glad you stayed up.
Three things:
1) Laurence Maroney did indeed attend the University of Minnesota
2) Play action is where the quarterback fakes the hand off to his running back, hopefully freezing the defense and making it easier to complete a pass.
3) Nobody ran it into the pile better than Robert Smith under Denny Green. (If you can use fancy blogger links to link that to the "they are who we thought they were" rant by Denny from last year, I would sure appreciate it. It's got to be on youtube).

Chris Cope said...

Eric - If you wanna crown 'em, then crown their ass.

Unknown said...

You're my hero.

Monica said...

That six-shooting, roundabout, taxi driver line was the funniest thing I've read in months. THANK YOU.