Monday, February 4, 2008

Second quarter

- It's 7-3 Giants now. Didn't Laurence Maroney play for University of Minnesota? Presumably I could Google that information, but I won't. Where's Eric when I need him? Or Dan? Or Anthony?

- The NFL will play another game in the UK, apparently. They were just promoting the thing and the American commentator (Dick Stockton) said: "The British fans love the Patriots. I think because the word 'England' is the title -- New England, old England."
I want to kick that guy in the teeth.

- I want to kick Tom Brady in the teeth, too. But that's just for being Tom Brady.

- For fuck's sake. If the NFL were to outlaw celebration dances by defensive players this game would be over by now. Just play the damn game. I mean, a defensive player is supposed to defend. If he does defend, he's doing his job, which he is paid a bajilizilimon dollars for. I want to see normal people pumping their fists and jumping about when they simply do their job. The next time I take a taxi somewhere, I want the driver to get out and make six-shooters with his fingers every time he successfully navigates a roundabout.

- Now the announcers are kissing Randy Moss' ass. I definitely want to kick them in the teeth.

- When those of you playing along at home go to commercial, we watching the BBC get a collection of colour commentary guys including former Oakland Raider Rod Woodson. There's a random English fellow who clearly thinks that Tom Petty is the most crap Super Bowl entertainment ever. I'm inclined to agree.

- The BBC guys just described NFL football as "basically rugby league with two fewer players." Yeah, I hate rugby league.

- I sure wish these defensive players would celebrate more. They should stop mid-play to celebrate.

- How many people does that stadium hold?

- Remember "Jock Rock"? Whatever happened to playing "Rock n' Roll Pt. II" before everything? Now that I think of it, I've heard no ridiculous background music during this game. Phoenix is dropping the ball, yo.

- Way to go, Giants. Run it into the pile.

- Randy Moss looks like a homeless man. If only.

- Why can't you bat the ball? Who the hell cares if you bat a fumble? This game has too many rules.

- Good name for a band: The Illegal Bat

- They just promoted the NFL in the UK again. You wouldn't have thought that the words "British Prime Minister Gordon Brown" would be all that hard to say, but Dick Stockton pondered over them the way my dad stumbles over Welsh words. Immediately afterward, Stockton had no trouble saying: "Oh look, Pamela Anderson."

- Tom Brady looks like a Disney teen film version of a quarterback.

- Dick Stockton: "I think at this point the Patriots know they are in a game."
It would be funny if they didn't.

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