Sunday, August 24, 2008

Eight minutes. Eight minutes. Eight minutes Boris Fresh you're on

One can imagine the 2012 Olympics planning committee:

"Well, we've got eight minutes in Beijing's closing ceremony to show what we're all about. Ideas?"
"Wow, London has nigh 2,000 years of history. It has been, and in some ways still is, the centre of the world. Where to start?
"How about if we get a Transformer bus, put Leona Lewis on a pedestal and then have David Beckham kick a soccer ball into the crowd?"

However, if you watch the presentation (available here for those of us in the UK), you'll note a few truths:

- London's a city, yo. Our only hope is that you will think the graffiti is art. I am sure that right now someone somewhere is begging Banksy to show up in the Olympic Village.
- If you are thinking of coming to London, you might want to bring your own transport, i.e., a bicycle.
- Britons like to litter (and there are no bins in London besides)
- It will likely rain. Bring an umbrella.
- We pretend to be really keen on queuing but as soon as the bus (or Tube) doors open it's every man, woman and child for himself. Transport will be shit.
- That girl with a football represents the corporate nature of modern sport; it will walk on the backs on all of us.
- Manufactured pop music rises above all else.
- Again, don't forget your umbrella.

I was amused seeing Boris Johnson stroll out in front of the planet Earth. Coat button undone, waving at people as if he were a kid. Wingnut he may be, but in an endearing sort of way.

Though, I have to admit: Back when London's Olympics were first announced I had promised myself that I would be living in the UK by that time. So it's an event that is strangely tied with my own ambition. In that way, I can't help but look forward to it.

Headline is a reference to 1985's "The Show" by Slick Rick and Doug E. Fresh. Yes, I am old and busted.


Anonymous said...

Similarly (or conversely), I remember announcing that we would absolutely be moving out of South London before the Olympics as I was sure it would be one crazy too far.

Burlesque Chic said...

I was resigned to something pretty average but that was lamer than even I had feared. It was just... boring.

I am seriously concerned about how they're going to address the transport issue... lord knows the Tube has no spare capacity and buses are only so good as the traffic. No point if you're all snarled up. How to fix??

Curly said...

Perhaps slightly disturbing was the manner in which the top of the bus opened, producing stark similarities to a particular bomb attack - as was pointed out by a friend.

Lottie said...

They really did drive the "it rains so bring an umbrella" point home.

Neal said...

"Sorry, this media is not available in your territory."

I'm adding this to the list....