Thursday, September 11, 2008

Other phrases Barack Obama should not use

Apparently using the well-established metaphor (a) of "lipstick on a pig" is a direct attack on Sarah Palin, who we all know is the only woman in America who wears lipstick. So, I've been trying to think of other clichés, metaphors and similes that should be avoided.

That dog won't hunt
Famously one of Bill Clinton's favourites, this is clearly an assault on Sarah Palin, who we all know is an avid hunter. Nevermind that Spally Six Guns compared herself to a pitbull, how dare we cal her a dog! And of course we all know what a female dog is called.

A stitch in time saves nine
Sexist! By referring to an activity that is so often associated with women, Obama would be suggesting that Spally has no place in the upper echelons of American power. Clearly it's a suggestion that Spally's place is in the home, barefoot, pregnant and mending her husband's shirts.

Necessity is the mother of invention
Outrageous. This is so clearly an attack on Spally's habit of giving her children unique names like Willow, Piper and Advil. I thought you were above this Mr. Obama. I thought you said personal lives weren't part of the campaign. You are a hypocrite.

Keep your nose to the grindstone
Have you no shame, sir? Have you no shame?! Putting one's nose to a grindstone would cause physical deformity, which is a crass and disgusting reference to the physical features of Down's Syndrome sufferers like wee Trig Palin. This is appalling.

Can you think of any other phrases that the Obama campaign should avoid?

(a) I worry that our friends in the Home Nations and elsewhere don't realise this. The fact that this is a phrase that is simply part of the American lexicon doesn't seem to get mentioned very often.


Anonymous said...

Take the bull by the horns.

Straight from the horses mouth.

The early bird catches the worm.

You can't make a silk purse from a sows ear.

er, beware of Greeks bearing gifts?

Obama should avoid all animal related idioms completely as Republicans seems to have a lock on them.

Sarah Stevenson said...

Oh yeah. I needed that laugh today.

Sarah Stevenson said...

"Shit or get off the pot" should obviously be a no-go, as this is no time to be ridiculing anybody's age-related infirmities.