Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Another flaw in your revisionist storytelling, George

This occurred to me Monday morning:

Among the myriad idiot things we learned from the second round of Star Wars films (known by me as "the shit trilogy") is that access to the Force is, in fact, genetic. That is, in order to be a Jedi you must have a high level of midi-chlorians.

Midi-chlorians are living organisms that somehow communicate with the Force; the more you have in your system, the more you are able to interact with and use the Force. Midi-chlorians are there from birth, and their addition to the narrative is wholly contrary to the philosophy inherent in the original films.

In the Star Wars triology (ie, episodes 4, 5, and 6) the force is a kind of Zen of the American ethic. It is a collective conscious that exists and runs through all of us, and if you work hard enough -- if you put your heart, mind and soul into the thing -- you can use the Force to your advantage. In the Star Wars trilogy the Force is open source; it is available to all who are willing to dedicate the time.

In the shit trilogy, the Force becomes a sort of eugenic Calvinism. You are genetically pre-determined to be a Jedi. Only the chosen can ever achieve greatness. And the message to kids is that sometimes you are born not good enough and there's nothing you can do about it; you suck from the get-go.

Fuck you, George Lucas.

Anyway, the fact that the Force is genetic easily explains away why Luke is able to pick up his Jedi skillz so quickly -- his dad is The Chosen One. That's a lazy and stupid explanation, but, okay, fine, whatever.

What about Leah, though?

She's Luke's twin sister, yo. And yet she didn't have Jedi ability. How does that make sense? What the fuck, George? Huh? I mean, what the fucking fuck?


Anonymous said...

I had my own shit trilogy last week, I'm blaming the Indian curry.

Lucky said...

Leah didn't need Jedi powers - she was the hot princess...

Thank you for pointing out yet another thing I can't stand about the shit trilogy.

As if the "enhanced" versions of the originals weren't bad enough...