Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Beginnings

I find myself being challenged by beginnings. For example, I don't know how to begin this blog post; I don't know how to begin the six essays that want writing on or before 5 May. All of these things I feel a need to do -- in one sense or another -- but none of them can I imagine beginnings for.

This happens to me a lot under stress. I am not a multitasker. When faced with the need to do several things at once, I have a tendency to do none of them. If it weren't for my deep personal aversion to killing Native Americans, I would have been the ideal sort of person to serve under Gen. Custer.

I once saw a programme about the Battle of Little Bighorn that claimed many of Custer's men went into such a ridiculous panic upon seeing so many Lakota, Arapaho and Cheyenne coming to fuck them up that they simply started firing straight into the air. There were so many people to shoot at that the cavalrymen couldn't choose who to shoot at. And so instead shot at nothing.

So, here I am taking on the easiest challenge -- ye olde blog. It is insufferable to complain about modern life (oh, boo-hoo, I don't have rickets), but I will say that blogging can feel like a chore at times. It is because I have allowed to worm into my head that stupid line of thinking that sees a blog as a tool of self-promotion.

It can be, I suppose. Theoretically -- I'm not exactly sure how -- my blogs and Twitter and Facebook pages could all join forces, a la the Wonder Twins, and form a tremendous PR tool that would help me sell more books. But then, writing in English would help me sell more books. And there are few things I hate more in this world than selling or people who try to sell to me.

But every time I think of deleting my blogs (about once a month, these days) someone will insist it is a bad idea because they are good for self promotion. Bah. I don't care. But that idea has gotten into my head, see. So I start to feel that each post needs to have a certain quality to it. And then it all starts to feel like work. And the blog sits idle for several weeks while I consider deleting it.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

please, oh please, don't delete ur blog. its the only light in my life since ur not doing ur column anymore. :)

Chris Cope said...

lol, adam. ur awsum!!!!! :0 i'm sooooo goin 2 blog 4eva.

Lucky said...

How to start an essay when you can't think of a way to start:

"This essay is total crap. Complete, utter..."

...and so on until the light turns on and you finish the essay. You can, if you wish, delete the "crap" rant before you submit the essay.

Also, multi-tasking is bullhonky. Multi-tasking is for tools, not men of the world.

erin said...

I find the best way to break that overload mind block barrier is to complain about it in writing. Just go on and on and on and before long you'll move on to a different topic. The ideas will start to flow. It's just getting to that part that is tricky. Kind of like Lucky said. Plus it helps you to get perspective on your own inner thoughts when you can put them into pixels on a monitor and look at them. Then decide how to change the situation.

After you've got your mojo back, you can get rid of all your whiney parts unless you feel it adds something to your subjects.

Above all, please don't delete your blog. I always enjoy it when you share your thoughts here with us. It's like ghetto traveling. I can read and pretend I'm there. =)

Ruthie said...

I don't think you should delete your blog either. I like reading it and it doesn't seem all that self-promotional. Keep writing for our entertainment!

Huw said...

I like reading your blog, and have no interest whatsoever in whatever it is you might wish to sell me.