Crying while eating

A few months ago, Jenny identified one of the greatest uses of the internet so far: CryingWhileEating.com. It's a simple concept -- the name says it all -- and it's brilliant. On the site, there is an explanation with each video as to what the person is eating and why they are crying.

Here, I am eating a Marks & Spencer Victoria Sandwich Cake. I am crying because when I tried to explain CryingWhileEating.com to Fflur she didn't seem to understand why it was so funny.*

For those of you playing along at home, an interesting fact about the cake I'm eating: According to the box, it's supposed to feed six people. What kind of fuckery is that? I'm not sure whether the fact that I think it is outrageously small speaks more to my American upbringing or simply that I love carbs.

Apologies to Dan, by the way. When his apartment burned down I told him that I would do a Crying While Eating video in which I cried over the loss of all his possessions. I never did that, but he scores a blog point with this mention.

*It's entirely possible that the quality of my Welsh is to blame for that. The way I stammer through sentences, perhaps she thought I was trying to tell her about something else but using the wrong words.

Point Dan

Some time ago, my friend Anthony confided in me that he and another friend, Dan, had developed a sort of points-based system for mentions received on this blog. I recently found myself thinking about this running competition when I finally switched over to the new version of Blogger.

For me, of course, the biggest difference in the two versions has been the end of my bullet-point system, and my attempting to use labels. I get the sense that I'm not using them to their full potential. But, how much potential could possibly exist in a label? Nevertheless, whatever-the-hell else labels are good for, they can at least keep track of who's winning Dan and Anthony's blog-mention battle.

"Awesome," I thought, "from this point forward, 'Anthony' and 'Dan' will be labels. My only problem is that I haven't heard from either of them in a coon's age, so I don't really have anything Dan- or Anthony-related to blog about."

Thankfully, everything Dan owns was reduced to ashes on Christmas Day. That's a talking point.

I only learned about this today. While Dan was enjoying Christmas with his family, everything in his apartment -- where the joy of the beer float was uncovered -- was being reduced to cinders. The picture above is of his entertainment centre, or what is left of it. The picture below is of his office.

"I think karma is punishing me for being Republican," Dan told me. "By the way, if you don't have renter's insurance, I suggest getting it."

That last bit of advice came a bit late for Dan, who was left with just a few clothes and a story that should hold up well against every other bloke's my-worst-girlfriend story: "Wow, that sounds like a pretty harsh relationship. I guess getting over her might have been like, oh, I don't know, having to put your life together after all your worldly possessions were lost in a fire..."

You thought your New Year was off to a rough start. But there are positives to all this. First, Dan gets to live that "getting rid of all your old shit and starting life anew" fantasy that we've all had -- whether he wanted to or not.

"I'm trying to take the, 'this is very liberating,' route," he said.

Second, and most importantly, Dan takes the first point with ease.