You ain't pregnant in yo' face

Well, she does have a valid point.

Displaying an unsettling abundance of useless knowledge

In barber shop Wednesday, with Red Dragon FM playing in the background:

Woman Cutting My Hair: This is tha' ... wha's 'er name? Lil Kim, innit? The one wha' died, i'n she?
Me: It's Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopez. But you're right that she died. In a car crash.
WCMH: Tha's the one. Only, she died in a plane crash, though.
Me: No, it was a car crash. Aaliyah died in a plane crash.
WCMH: Oh, tha's right, love. You're good at this stuff. You should go on one 'em shows on the telly, like.
Me: A quiz show on the tragic deaths of celebrities. Not sure how that would go over.
WCMH: Ha, don' make me laugh, love. Got a razor in me han'.

Agreed, but which part exactly do you think is weird?

Overheard in Cardiff University cafe:

Extremely high-maintenance-looking girl talking to friend as they walk past me: "...and she said, 'I've never had it up the ass,' and then ran off screaming. It was very weird."

Maybe that's why Sarah McDaniels dumped me

Overheard on train to Cardiff Central:

16-YEAR-OLD GIRL: "Would you go out with Jazz?"
16-YEAR-OLD BOY: "Who?"
GIRL: "Jasmine"
BOY: "No."
GIRL: "Would you go out with Alex?"
BOY: "No."
GIRL: "Would you go out with Rosemary?"
BOY: "No."
GIRL: "You should."
BOY: "No."
GIRL: "Why not?"
BOY: "Jeff fancies her."
GIRL: "Jeff?!!"
BOY: "Hey, you dumped him. He can fancy who he likes."
GIRL: "Jeff was killin' my style."

Overheard in Skerries, Ireland

CLAIRE 1: "Sinead's got the lovliest laugh. You should hear her laugh. Someone say something funny."
CLAIRE 2: "Madeleine McCann"

Overheard on the 15:08 to Cardiff Central

PRE-TEEN BOY #1: "...and he told me, 'Watch your language.' You can't do that. You listen. You can't watch your language."
PRE-TEEN BOY #2: "You can. You can think about what you're sayin' before you say it, and you can watch what you say. It's like a metaphor.
PTB#1: "A figure of speech."
PTB#2: "A metaphor is a figure of speech."
PTB#1: "Yeah, but 'Watch your language' isn't a metaphor."

Overheard at University Hospital, Cardiff

RECEPTIONIST: "Nice to see that Joe Calzaghe get Sports Personality of the Year, isn't it?"
SISTER: "Yeah. He deserved it."
RECEPTIONIST: "He did, didn't he? He seemed surprised. He wasn't expecting it, was he? He seems a nice fellow, doesn't he?"
SISTER: "Yeah. So many of those boxers seem, you know..."
RECEPTIONIST: "They do. They do. Mind, that Ricky Hatton seems a nice fellow."
SISTER: "Yeah. He does."
RECEPTIONIST: "He does. Shame about him, isn't it? He went 10 rounds, though. And that other fellow was bigger than him, wasn't he?"
SISTER: "Yeah. He done his best."
RECEPTIONIST: "He did, didn't he? Nice boy. He done his best and you can't complain about that, can you?"
SISTER: "No."
RECEPTIONIST: "Mmm."
SISTER: "Mmm."
RECEPTIONIST: "Oh! We got to remind Debbie not to phone Pamela during the 'X Factor' final."

(Note: In British hospitals there are people called "sisters" who are a bit like nurses. Indeed, they may be nurses. I don't really know how they fit into the grand scheme.)

Overheard in Cardiff city centre

SON: "I'm not being funny, Dad, but when you're shagging your girlfriend, answering the phone isn't really on your mind, like."
FATHER: "Yeah, you've got a point."