Remember 2003? Year of the blog, I think it was. And all we ever did was blog via memes. Heather, Chris and Neal are bringing the good times back, and now so am I.
1) WHAT WAS I DOING TEN YEARS AGO?
I had driven out to Lake Tahoe to spend the summer working at the now-defunct Ponderosa Ranch, a "Bonanza"-themed tourist trap on the Nevada side of the lake.
I was a gunfighter, "robbing" the wagon rides that took people up the mountain to have breakfast. I also worked in the photography area, taking pictures of people dressed up in cowboy outfits. I was apparently really good at the latter because:
1) I goofed around a lot, which kept the people who were waiting from getting bored. 2) I understood the basic principle that people wanted to be photographed holding lots of guns. They'd say they didn't need guns, but when I put a shotgun in their hand and four pistols on them they were much happier.
3) I was good at handling crying babies. The trick is to blow directly into their faces. It works 85 percent of the time. It's discombobulating to them and causes them to go quiet and stare at you in confusion. Also, we were in the desert, so most of the time the baby was upset simply because it was hot.
This was the summer that I met the child bride. Ten years ago today we hadn't yet gone out on a date, though. On Fourth of July all the staff had a big barbecue and I tried to hit on Rachel but she was having none of it. Then, at some point, all the guys on staff performed a dance and I was wearing nothing but boxers and chaps. No doubt this is what attracted her to me.
2) WHAT ARE FIVE THINGS ON YOUR TO-DO LIST TODAY?
- Hoover the living room floor.
- Write to Trinity College Carmarthen to enquire about their creative writing master's degree.
- Continue work on my book
- Have dinner with Craig and Claire.
- Same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world.
3) FOUR THINGS I WOULD DO IF I WERE A BILLIONAIRE
- Pay off all personal debt and debt of my family members.
- Fund the Central Corridor LRT in St. Paul, Minnesota.
- Buy cabins for those friends who have tags on this blog.
- Try to score myself an MBE by donating large amounts to Prince's Trust.
4) FIVE PLACES I HAVE LIVED
- Austin, Texas
- St. Paul, Minnesota
- San Diego, California
- Portsmouth, England
- Cardiff, Wales
5) THREE OF MY BAD HABITS
- I have the emotional needs of a teenage girl.
- I don't listen to people because I am too busy thinking about what I'm going to say next.
- I have that British tendency to jump on bandwagons.
6) FIVE JOBS I'VE HAD
- Shopping cart wrangler at Cub Foods
- Freezer/cooler stockist at Sam's Club
- Radio DJ
7) HOW DID YOU NAME YOUR BLOG?
I've answered this question in full before, but the short version is this: a beauty queen asked me to dance, I stupidly said no, I have rued the decision ever since. As God as my witness, I will never turn down a beauty queen again.
8) I'm not tagging anyone, yo. I'm not that retro, bitches.
Dear Indian: Please make a smaller bike
1 hour ago